Twelve years ago I lost my first born baby. He died 68 minutes after he was born due to a birth defect. It was the most devastating time of my life. I have come to understand that he was never meant to be here on Earth. His journey to us was bigger than I knew. Since losing him I have come to realise that you can’t go through something like that without coming out the other side of the experience a different person. I firstly questioned myself, what did I do wrong………. what if I hadn’t……. what if I had……. why me……… its not fair………… As more time passed by I had thoughts like “maybe I got rid of a baby I didn’t want in a previous life, so I had to know what it feels like to lose a baby I did want in this life”. Truly none of these thoughts or ideas did anything to serve me or help me to grieve. On the first anniversary of his death I took a day off work and went on a picnic with my family. At the picnic a family of Bluewren’s turned up and kept on coming back to where we were sitting and appearing when we went for walks. It was funny that these Bluewren’s were here because I had put a figurine of a Bluewren on my babies grave and one in the garden at home to make a connection. I now notice that when ever something big is happening in my life (such as the birth of my two beautiful girls) I see a Bluewren during that day. Sometimes if I am questioning decision I make or thinking about big things going on in my life, Bluewrens show up. I feel like these birds are signs from the other side letting me know that everything is going to be alright and that I am being looked after from the other side. Its amazing how the energy of the world truly works.